Ghana Community Online: Replying To Who bells the cat? - Ghana Community Online

Ewiase, on May 23 2007, 04:44 AM, said:

I am indeed very glad!!

babydoll1, on May 23 2007, 02:40 AM, said:

my view is the closeness, the intimacy. it is what is now happening in my life. our relationship has changed ever since i started watching tv with her, standing by her when she is cooking, going together to visit friends. it makes me remember when we met, we were in a one room and watched tv from bed. we were then close and now here we are 16 years further and took things for granted and nearly marred the relationship.

Please somebody shed light on the carrying ritual , i didnt get it? what was the womans intention and why did it change the mans heart?

Eve, on May 22 2007, 01:39 PM, said:

oh Eve! why should you paint me so grey?

this is a typical WOFA!

And so, over the years, Uncle, as he is fondly called, has become known for only putting his mouth where he can find money. If you want to commit the greatest offence in the book and consult uncle, he may not only tell you how best to go about it, if the money is right, he will tell you how to defend yourself and get away with it. The worst thing is that, even when you have settled him, he may still change his language if he gets a better offer from someone else. This is the man my husband’s family call their head of family. And when you see this man in any house, know that if there was no trouble before, there will soon be one.

Thus, Uncle was the first to speak, he praised me for my love, support and affection shown to him anytime he visits our house, adding that such is the stuff that good wives and mothers are made of. He said he had come to offend me, but was sure that as the good woman that he is sure I am, I will not be too offended as not to abide by their wishes. By this time, my husband was already looking worried. He had his head cupped in his hands, with a dejected look on his face. He said they were visiting on the invitation of my husband. That he had come to him to inform him that we had a problem which he could not handle on his own and wanted the family to assist him. He disclosed that my husband confessed to him that he had offended me and would want them to help him plead with him for forgiveness.

He said I should count myself lucky that my husband so much loves and respects me such that he does not want to hurt me in any way. That is why he had called on close family members to help him out.
Other men, he argued, would have thrown away caution and damned the consequences anyhow it might come. Many often throw their wives and children into unnecessary pain, heartache and trauma just to satisfy their own ego tripping. They were, therefore, happy that they have not raised such a son in the family. Some other men, he said, might even keep it a secret, declaring that what they have done has nothing to do with their wives and children. Therefore, each must keep to his own tent.




To be cont/d......

Ewiase, on May 17 2007, 05:36 PM, said:

to you too

hipic_junction, on May 17 2007, 02:43 PM, said:

well, that's all the more reason why i'm hooked to this forum. it exposes my weakness to me and makes me happy always.

GCF

Ewiase, on May 17 2007, 07:54 AM, said:

Sometimes, it is the little things which matter the most.
They show that a person is not only attentive, but thoughtful as well.

Thanks for sharing.

Quote

thanks Bula, i had this message from a love one from this forum and it has transformed our lives entirely.

M claims she woke up one Sunday morning to receive a high powered delegation led by the head of her husband’s family. What was the purpose of their visit? Find out below as M tells her story:

It all began one Sunday afternoon. Being Muslims, we usually spend Sundays at home, at least the first half of the day. If we had plans for going out, it would be in the evenings. So it was almost automatic that you will find us at home if you visit on Sunday.

And that was exactly what happened that fateful Sunday morning. My brother-in-law drove into our compound, accompanied by three other members of the family. One of them, the head of the family. I was surprised as they walked in one after the other, for it was definitely a planned visit since all four did not live anywhere near each other. The first thing that struck me was that my mother-in-law had died. But should that be the case, my husband’s younger brother would not have been in the team to break such a news to us. And since the woman was already very old and ill and we had all been expecting it, it did not need the presence of the head of family to do the job. Something more serious must be wrong.

One look at my husband who I thought was equally surprised at the visit, and I did not see a note of surprise on his face. Instead, I saw something else, fear and apprehension. My heart went out to him as I thought he was also worried about his mother. I had to pretend that they were all very welcome. I asked the children to get them drinks, while my eldest daughter and I went about preparing lunch for them. My husband too was doing his best to entertain them, though he did not act like his usual self.

As soon as we entered the kitchen, my daughter wanted to know what was going on, but I declined to say anything, saying that we should remain patient to see the purpose of the visit. But by the time food was ready, my mind was already troubled and I guess I was almost as restless as my husband if not more. For somehow, something told me the whole problem was centered around me and it was not going to be favourable.

After they had eaten, the leader of the delegation, the family head, called me to have my seat confirming my fears that I was the purpose of their visit. You see this man is actually an uncle to my husband. The only child of his mother for his very rich father, he had grown up a spoilt child and when his inheritance was passed on to him after his father’s death, he got a whooping large span of land all to himself as his other step siblings from his father had other people to share their’s with. He went on a spending spree, marrying various shapes and shades of women and raising so many children whom he eventually could not train.

Naturally, he sold all his land and ended up in only the house he built while he had not lost his thinking cap. He was flat broke and by that time had fallen out of favour with my mother-in-law who is a staunch disciplinarian. In her younger days, she had forbidden her children to have anything to do with him as he was a bad role model as far as she was concerned. But you know how people simmer down with time or age. And so it happened that my mother-in-law could not really influence her children’s attitude any longer, and in the interest of peace and cohesion in the family, they had to recognise the man due to his old age.


To be cont/d....