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Types of Dicks......


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#1 Guest_Abena_*

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Posted 09 June 2004 - 04:02 PM

DICKOLOGY 101


MISERABLE DICK - When the guy is extremely handsome. He says the right things, does the right things. When it comes to sex, he is lacking in this department. He sucks your tits too hard, kisses your mouth too long, stays around your neck forever, fingers you like a GYN Doctor, licks your pussy like he was in a track meet and has a very small dick. You try to give him some head and only find that you are actually sucking a pacifier. This is so miserable. You think, "how can a guy so fine, so polite have weak game?" To top everything off ladies, how about just when in your mind your going to try to get the best out of this even if you have to make yourself cum and he beats you to the punch. DAMN, I cannot believe he came in 3 minutes!!!



TOLERABLE DICK - This is funny dick. He eats major pussy. He eats it so good, your knees feel a little weak. It was good enough to make you shed a tear. Then he puts his dick in, for you to realize that you cannot really feel it!! His stroke is irregular and non-rhythmic. You work with it by riding out on it as if you were in a Wild Wild West Movie. You hold your pelvic real tight and try to visualize the last big dick you had to get your mind off this less than filling dick. It's funny because in the man's mind he'll say, that we just have big pussy's from having too much sex and that is why we cannot feel him. Only for them to forget that the pussy is a muscle that accommodates the size of the penis! If she has had children already it will only shrink so much.



INTERNET DICK - Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see, online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to this definition. Bottom line____________. HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!



OVERWHELMED DICK - I believe this dick ladies we all can testify to. Like, Whoa! This is the type of dick you misjudged. You saw some signs of weakness in this man. He always caters to you and really does not discuss what he can do in bed with you. When kissing him, you notice you make his knees weak. You hold out on giving him some and tease him. You know what size dick he has because you have either A: Given him some mean-ass head. Or B: Stroked it while he was wearing pants or boxers. So, you thought in your mind, "I am going to pussy feed and whip him." Only to find he laid the "SMACK DOWN" on your pussy. He had you in a figure eight. You were so overwhelmed that you could not even speak. Your whole pre-calculated fuck was down the drain. He had more game than you. He was like an energizer bunny that kept going and going. You could not even hang. Now you look at him in a different light.



PUNISHABLE DICK - This is the dick that pisses me off the most. You see, the guy you're sleeping with punishes your pussy. If he had a bad or good day at work, "he punishes your pussy." If he had a good or bad meal, "he punishes your pussy." If he's pissed off at you, "he punishes your pussy." No matter what, "he punishes your pussy." It is easy to tell if the guy your with 3DA0=3DA0 falls into this category. He always uses phrases like these when he is fucking you: "DON'T RUN FROM THIS DICK", "AIN'T THIS SOME GOOD DICK, "TELL ME YOU LIKE THIS DICK," "WHAT IS MY NAME," "WHOSE PUSSY THIS BELONGS TO," "I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING SHIT NOW" and finally, "YOU LIKE WHEN DADDY GETS THIS PUSSY AND WHIPS IT!” While all this is being said, he is literally smacking your ass, fucking your walls sore, sweat is dripping like it was raining and he acts like he is in a fight.



GUILTY DICK- Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily can say, "AMEN to this type of dick. Ladies, this is the type of dick that makes you cry and confess to your man you fucked someone else. The guilty dick made you want to tell everybody. Guilty dick is in a class of it's on. Guilty dick makes you look and feel different about the dick you got at home. Guilty dick made you have multiple orgasms. Made you cry and you had no clue to why. This dick is so intense, when it is being administered it sent you in a trance. He has a slow long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if you're comfortable about six times, you started at 6 PM and it is now going on 9PM and he is not tired and has not cum yet! He licks on your pussy as if he was a baby cat licking warm milk, he savours it like you're the main course meal, he smells it like fine wine and does not rush from the spot, he flips you over and begins licking your pussy from the back and your ass at the same time. He takes his fingers and inserts them in your pussy and looks at you, offers you a taste and begins sucking the ice/cum off of his fingers. By now you're in shock and forgot all about your man. You act as if you want him to stop, but the pussy is screaming for more. He has at least two inches more than your man. Guilty dick makes you think in your mind for a split second, "Oh Baby! I am sorry." Guilty dick in the end you try to avoid. When you're back with your man, you're wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty dick did to you.



PLEASURABLE DICK - This is good convenient dick. Easy dick. Dick you can call when your body needs a fix. You might as well call it "SPLAKEVELLIE." He gives you major head like GUILTY DICK and fucks you like GUILTY DICK. Only thing is, you do not have a man, so you're not feeling guilty. Whenever you call the dick is ready. His dick craves your pussy. This dick is available anytime, anyplace.



GAWD DAMN DICK! - Ladies, now this is dick that will definitely send you to hell if you’re not married to it. This dick is just like PLEASURABLE and GUILTY DICK. His dick is any where from 8 to 11 inches long and the circumference of a half dollar. This dick makes you numb, cry, and pray all at the same time. While he is getting it doggy style you look towards the heavens and say, "GOD DAMN THIS IS SOME GOOD DICK!!"



CAP'N DICK - This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well-kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this dick. When you get this dick, you go through convulsions. This is the dick that makes you EVEREADY. You call in sick from work for it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED DICK, PLEASURABLE DICK, GUILTY DICK, and GOD DAMN DICK all in one. This is the dick that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter while speaking and have you nervous for no reason.



If you don’t know, NOW YOU KNOW. Dickology 101. Please don't be misinformed......... Pass it on

#2 Ghanainlady

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Posted 09 June 2004 - 05:59 PM

Abena....

Ayikoooooooooooooooooo....... :o
Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; its flames are flames of fire,
A most vehement flame.

#3 Bula Matali

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 08:29 AM

Penis owners manual

http://www.vasectomy...umor/manual.htm
"Sometimes the best form of Leadership is Dictatorship" - written by Our famous CONFUSED
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#4 Sweetiipie

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 02:14 PM

Abena, say it like it is.

Boy! i'll never forget my guilty dick, the thought of it still makes me shudder :jam: :jam: :jam: :jam:
The world is full of willing people: some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

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#5 karebo25

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 02:23 PM

Sweetii, you got me in stitches :roll: :roll:

GUILTY DICK
When you're back with your man, you're wondering why he cannot perform like guilty dick. You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty dick did to you.

:hil:

#6 Sweetiipie

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 03:25 PM

:blush :blush :blush :xba: :xba:
The world is full of willing people: some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

Robert Frost

#7 Bula Matali

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 03:43 PM

Bula walks into the thread

makes a mental note .......says nothing

and walks back out .........shutting the door quietly behind him.
"Sometimes the best form of Leadership is Dictatorship" - written by Our famous CONFUSED
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#8 SirPuyol

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 03:54 PM

Auntie Abena, I'd appreciate it if u'd give us a lesson on types of coochie's too. I'm interested in the definitions of a guilty coochie.
"little things worry little minds"

#9 Alonte

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 05:45 PM

MR OVERWHELMED DICK ....LOL :roll:
Gal, don't make me share my experience on this one.

Once i had this guy...




And







And....










You like fella too much...
Get back to work. :roll:

#10 CLITORIM

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Posted 11 June 2004 - 06:39 PM

ONCE AGAIN WITH MY BINOCULARS
CURIOUSLY TO MA EYES
AND MY LISTENING DEVICE FIRMLY STUCK TO MA EARS
I STAND AFAR ON A HILL TOP
PEEKING INTO THIS THREAD
AND LIKE GOOD OLD BULA
I SAY NOTHING BUT A WORD...............
WOMEN!!!!
HMMMMMMMM :rolleyes:

#11 BlueHue

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 04:08 PM

INTERNET DICK - Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see, online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in person. But, there are some Internet dicks that are exceptions to this definition. Bottom line____________. HE COULD NOT MAKE YOU CUM!!



Guys remember this, with all the love you guys hare having for the girls on this forum?

Picked it up at the bacl somehere I think its good!!
[img]http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:VgVliM_8AO_9nM:http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x150/seeramaiste1/JessicaRabbit.jpg[/img] I am surrounded by the hue of blue which keeps me whole.

#12 Bula Matali

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 04:15 PM

Blue,

which category wud hope to put me in ?
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#13 Genesis

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 04:21 PM

Bula do you want us to tell you. Abi you be Internet Dick. So, so big talk but nothing.
God Loves you!


#14 BlueHue

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 04:22 PM

Oh how could you ask such a question?

Anyway if you want me to tell you agin, then

CAP'N DICK - This is the gold mine dick. This dick is the dick that you commit yourself too. You do not cheat on it and you keep it a well-kept secret. In fact, you constantly crave and feign for this dick. When you get this dick, you go through convulsions. This is the dick that makes you EVEREADY. You call in sick from work for it. GOSH!!! This dick is so major it is OVERWHELMED DICK, PLEASURABLE DICK, GUILTY DICK, and GOD DAMN DICK all in one. This is the dick that you want to put insurance on, just in case anything should happen to it. This dick makes you stutter while speaking and have you nervous for no reason.


This is the effect you have on me :wub:
[img]http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:VgVliM_8AO_9nM:http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x150/seeramaiste1/JessicaRabbit.jpg[/img] I am surrounded by the hue of blue which keeps me whole.

#15 Bula Matali

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 04:32 PM

we shall have to find out don't we?

I also feel very comfortable with U and dat's worrying.......and pleasing ! at the same time....

Bula
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#16 Papa Goody

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 06:14 PM

Can one be a particular definition of a dick for all women?
"A child can play with its mother's breasts, but not its father's testicles" - Guinea.
"When a man is stung by a bee, he doesn't set off to destroy all beehives" - (Kenya).
"The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem" - Ethiopia.
"A short man is not a boy" - Nigeria and "No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yam" - Nigeria.
It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum" - Ghana.

#17 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 27 January 2005 - 02:04 AM

why dont you guys show pictures of the different dicks.

I want to see dicks, dick dicks!!!!

#18 Guest_Maame Yaa_*

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Posted 27 January 2005 - 05:13 AM

"NTERNET DICK - Well, how would we define this type of dick? You see, online they talk a damn good game. You meet and you fuck. The catch is you had an orgasm online, over the phone and a fake orgasm in person."

Why do I have a funny feeling this fits Bula? :o

#19 Bula Matali

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Posted 27 January 2005 - 12:13 PM

Oh Maame Yaa.... :blink: :blink:
please

I am a retired coochi popper. In my hey day, I would have offered to pop your coochi.... :jam: :jam:
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#20 quamihoward

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Posted 27 January 2005 - 05:57 PM

Oh Maame Yaa.... 
please

I am a retired coochi popper. In my hey day, I would have offered to pop your coochi....



wo sisi ye wo ya

na nso wo pe se wo sa

akokora te se wo

dee me pe na wo pe se wo fa



key:

e = the other e in twi.
Every corner, every city
There's a place where life's a little busy
Little Hennessy, laid back and cool
Every hour, cause it's all good
Leave all the stress from the world outside
Every wrong done will be alright (I wanna go)
Nothin but peace (I wanna go) love (I wanna go nigga)
And street passion, every ghetto needs a thug mansion

#21 zulughana

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Posted 18 November 2006 - 11:01 PM

Auntie Abena, I'd appreciate it if u'd give us a lesson on types of coochie's too. I'm interested in the definitions of a guilty coochie.


Sir P...U are very funy..

Abena has enlighted the laydez [and i muht say some men] here with her thread about cocks...

Now why dont you mirror her courage and do one on coochies..:D

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#22 Bula Matali

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Posted 14 August 2012 - 10:54 AM

memories of the good old days...
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#23 zulughana

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Posted 20 September 2012 - 11:34 AM

memories of the good old days...


hehehe
i concur.
Those were the days we had a select few of bold chicks who would actually say something.
Now all the chicks are playing on FB.
Indeed!

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