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Sex according to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)


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#1 Belle

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Posted 05 August 2004 - 12:48 PM

Hi Folks,

I came across this fowarded mail and i think it makes interesting reading.


For the married ones I hope you're abiding and for those of us who are yet

to tie the knot I will advise that we take note and be on guard.


Sex according to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)

A lot of people don't associate sex with God - they associate it with Satan

and darkness, as if sex weren't holy. The bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy within marriage, and there is no prescribed style.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style.


Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!.

Pastor Khathide has counselled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother.
There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections.

Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hillbrow.

Have you ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don't.


Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband.


Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina.

They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores

hoping to see what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them.

Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner.

A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband.

There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises

look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never touche it,

let alone see it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it.


He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day's work. You find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure.

You can't marry and not have a good time in bed.


WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT?

Why can't you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife?

We're all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a man.

You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been

satisfied? Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic?


May the Lord Bless you. This is the "Whole Truth, Nothing But The Truth"

so God Help Us From The Beginning.



TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be asleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren't in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbors would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactor because:

6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

4 times y ou told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move


KEEP READING.......


TO M Y DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't come

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and some one kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was runny

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on T V

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

:rolleyes:
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift

#2 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 05 August 2004 - 12:54 PM

If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband.


Good idea !!!!!

#3 Guest_Guest_*

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Posted 05 August 2004 - 12:56 PM

A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it.


it can be dangerous....

two days ago, ma lover was playing with ma penis and she said.....I wonder if I could use a breadknife to cut some of it off ??????

when it is small they complain, when it is big they complain as well....cant women ever be pleased ????

#4 Belle

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Posted 06 August 2004 - 08:38 AM

Guest do u expect us to believe tht....i dnt think so! & cn't men ever be pleased? :rolleyes:
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift

#5 Ngats

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Posted 06 August 2004 - 09:17 AM

MMMMhhhh!!!! Good Idea Belle, sex is good infact sweet & ppl should do it often & not always at nite anytime. if i become a president i will definately put a holiday "Sex day". Do u think thats good?

#6 Belle

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Posted 06 August 2004 - 09:31 AM

:hil: :hil: :hil: :hil: :hil: :hil: some bills u will be passing...... eeih... tht will be fine but dnt be surprised if it is done on the parks & everywhere....... i mean free show! :unsure:

Hotels wud make money.........
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#7 ReggaeDancer

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Posted 10 August 2004 - 04:14 AM

Sleep naked yea! :xba: :xba: :xba: :xba:

I always sleep naked when I am with my man. makes for easy access!

Love illicit encounters. Always wanted to try the meet me at home for a quickie instead of lunch.
"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation." -Plato

"A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones ..."

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Posted 09 September 2005 - 04:06 PM

A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband.

There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises

look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never touche it,


I wish my wife could read this

#9 Cybria

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Posted 10 September 2005 - 04:06 AM

MMMMhhhh!!!! Good Idea Belle, sex is good infact sweet & ppl should do it often & not always at nite anytime. if i become a president i will definately put a holiday "Sex day". Do u think thats good?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


There's a holiday like that somewhere in south america...I forget where.

This is a good article, Belle. Thanks for posting it. :metallica:

Edited by Cybria, 10 September 2005 - 04:09 AM.


#10 Ewiase

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Posted 10 September 2005 - 12:46 PM

http://www.ghanaweb....el.php?ID=89796

ehe na menfa enfa?
neke gyen ne yoo?

saa ena Ewiase etee?


is this how the world is?

if a lie takes the lift and the truth the stairs, the lie will be faster, but the truth will get there too.

#11 Belle

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Posted 11 September 2005 - 06:08 PM

Ewaise, the site is nice. I got to watch all the video clips.... :banana: :banana:
Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery, Today is a gift

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 01:57 PM

:smilie_laugh: :smilie_laugh: Africans and repression!

#13 Ewiase

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Posted 11 February 2008 - 02:00 PM

why are u digging up our past?
neke gyen ne yoo?

saa ena Ewiase etee?


is this how the world is?

if a lie takes the lift and the truth the stairs, the lie will be faster, but the truth will get there too.

#14 Bula Matali

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Posted 20 May 2009 - 09:02 AM

reminder !!!
"Sometimes the best form of Leadership is Dictatorship" - written by Our famous CONFUSED
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#15 Ewiase

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Posted 20 May 2009 - 05:03 PM

thanks for the reminder.
neke gyen ne yoo?

saa ena Ewiase etee?


is this how the world is?

if a lie takes the lift and the truth the stairs, the lie will be faster, but the truth will get there too.

#16 Bula Matali

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Posted 14 July 2009 - 01:40 PM

I am on ma way to Tanzania next months... I hear Tanzanian and Ugandan woman are very generous....unlike our West african women....

I haven't met one who is a good cook yet. Now that's the problem.
"Sometimes the best form of Leadership is Dictatorship" - written by Our famous CONFUSED
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#17 Purple Haze 2

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Posted 18 July 2009 - 07:00 PM

sometimes walking around naked, sleeping naked and even resorting to begging for it don't work................which is why I kicked my man to the curb

#18 Moby Dick

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Posted 21 July 2009 - 07:31 AM

Hi Folks,

I came across this fowarded mail and i think it makes interesting reading.


For the married ones I hope you're abiding and for those of us who are yet

to tie the knot I will advise that we take note and be on guard.


Sex according to Pastor Khathide (Ugandan)

A lot of people don't associate sex with God - they associate it with Satan

and darkness, as if sex weren't holy. The bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy within marriage, and there is no prescribed style.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style.


Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!.

Pastor Khathide has counselled women who've complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother.
There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections.

Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hillbrow.

Have you ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don't.


Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If you're a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband.


Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina.

They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores

hoping to see what's hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them.

Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner.

A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband.

There are many married women who don't know what their husbands' penises

look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They've never touche it,

let alone see it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife's toy - she is supposed to play with it.


He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day's work. You find many couples who've been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure.

You can't marry and not have a good time in bed.


WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT?

Why can't you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife?

We're all equal in sex - it's not just about a woman satisfying a man.

You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been

satisfied? Have u noticed how she glows and becomes energetic?


May the Lord Bless you. This is the "Whole Truth, Nothing But The Truth"

so God Help Us From The Beginning.



TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be asleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren't in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbors would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactor because:

6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

4 times y ou told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move


KEEP READING.......


TO M Y DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't come

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and some one kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was runny

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book 98 times you were too busy watching football, baseball, etc. on T V

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

:rolleyes:



EII!!!.......NEVER SEE THIS. VERY NICE ONE.
People think i'm shy because i don't talk or participate too much in conversations. The truth is i don't really give a fuck what they're talking about.

#19 Guest_BOVA_*

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 08:49 PM

i ca'nt wait to get married so that i can enjoy the holy 1.PASTOR KHATHIDE ROCKS GUYS .Y GUYS ARE ALWAYS IN NEWS CAFE WITH YOUNG GRLS?THEY DO'NT GET ENOUGH




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